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How to Burn 3,000 Calories
If normal exercise doesn't appeal to you, we’ve got you covered with some alternatives.
On Thanksgiving Day, Americans on average eat upwards of 3,000 calories in a single meal, and if you’re anything like me it’s wayyy too late to pass on seconds (or thirds…) this year.
Once all is said and done, every Thanksgiving participant must face the stark reality of burning off those calories so they don’t… you know, stick around.
Sure, you could try normal things like running or biking, but here are a few alternative suggestions if you’re looking to change things up a little.
Juggle continuously for 10 hours and 45 minutes. If you aren’t good at juggling, that will actually help you out as chasing down dropped objects will burn even more calories.
Play the 1998 classic Dance Dance Revolution for a little over six hours.
Make 5,357 trips from the couch to the refrigerator. This is assuming your fridge is a 15 step round trip from your couch. To customize for your living situation, use the following formula substituting your round trip steps for X: 3,000/(.04)X
Compete in a ½ day elite-level chess tournament.
Type on a keyboard continuously for 29 and a half hours. Added bonus: at an average of 40 WPM, typing for 29.5 hours will leave you with a 70,800 word novel.
Brush your teeth (for two minutes, of course) five hundred twenty six times. Severe mouth pain and lasting dental damage may result—please consult your dentist before attempting. And maybe don’t mention I sent you.
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Embark on a 40 hour horror movie marathon. Watching high-stress movies can burn around 75 calories per hour—just be careful not to snack, otherwise you might have to factor in a few extra reruns.
Play guitar sitting down for 21 and a half hours. If you play guitar standing up, you only need to play for 15 hours. If you throw in a few windmills, head bangs, and guitar flips, you just might be able to bring that down to 10.
Jump on a trampoline for 5-6 hours. Although the repeated up-down motion might not go so well after that second slice of pumpkin pie, jumping on a trampoline actually burns about the same amount of calories as running. Who knew...
Eat 158 sticks of celery. A 2016 study found that it takes a human 19 more calories to digest a stick of celery than you gain by eating one. Bon appetit!